S2, E4: Working Through Your Fears and Redefining Success with Caitlin Shirock from Cash Color
Today on The Motherload Podcast I talk to my friend Caitlin Shirock. She is a mother, wife, artist, and the owner of Cash Color. Caitlin talks about how fear is still a part of her decision making, but how she consistently creates what she feels called to make and share anyways. We both give real life examples of how fear comes up in our everyday lives, and how we work through it. Caitlin outlines small obtainable steps for any mother looking to step into her passion or calling. We discuss big ideas like redefining what success looks like for YOU in YOUR life! Getting to know yourself first and foremost as the guiding light to your fulfilled future. This episode is about small steps, individuality, and the complexity of developing and finding these things while being a mother.
All this and more on today's episode of The Motherload Podcast.
Resources:
https://www.instagram.com/cash.color/
https://www.cashcolor.com/
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
Hello beautiful women. Today on the mother lode, I'm so excited to talk to my friend, Caitlin shy rock from cash color. She is a mother, she is a wife. She's an artist, and a small business owner. She is as real and authentic as they come, and especially today, talking about fear. And all of us have experienced fear that has held us back. You know, fear around doing something that we really want to do or feel like we need to do usually involves big change, and growth and lots of self belief. So today, Caitlin is talking to us about real life examples of fear, and how she overcomes it in her life. Caitlin and I are also going to talk about big ideas being fulfilled, what that looks like in someone's life, what success looks like for you in your own life. And also the fact that there's no timeframe for any of this. Whatever the right, Kaitlyn is going to break down the small steps that she took to start her business in the very beginning. And that's really exciting because it's accessible for any woman with a desire to create and sell something. This interview encourages small steps in individuality. And the idea that fulfillment looks and feels different for everyone also encourages women to accept and understand that it's very complex, all of these things put together and in our twined with motherhood. It's hard, it's a lot of work. And all this and so much more coming up on today's episode of the mother lode.
Unknown Speaker 3:00
All right, well, I am going to do a little introduction of you. And you know what usually I have I in the past for other interviews, I've been a little bit more like, I don't want to say scripted, because I'm never scripted. But like, I was very clear on my objectives and how I wanted to introduce the person. And I've really loved preparing for this because I felt a really different sense of ease, probably for a number of reasons. One is, you are a person that you have so much ease about you that that's like it rubs off on other people. I feel like you walk into a room and you're just like your body sometimes like moves and you look around, like you feel so open and so real and like, open to whatever is gonna come your way in the next moment or in that space. That I think I'm like vibing off of you with that, that I'm like, You know what, this is gonna kind of take shape the way that it should and I know that you're so full of goodness and creativity and you're a mom. Well first of all, you're Caitlin shy rock, everybody. Here she is cash color. But you're a mom and you have two kids and so you're authentic just in that sense. You know, like you're not being anyone but yourself all the time and that puts me at ease and I think that's a gift that you put probably everybody in your life at ease. So I hope you know that about yourself that you are a calm. Cool, okay, you're cool. You are the epitome of cool no If you are, okay, take it. And when you walk in the room, people can feel it. So we know that you're an amazing artist, because we've seen your stuff. Some of the girlfriends I told like that I was going to talk to you were like, Oh my gosh, I have like four or five of her things in my house. And I was like, hell yes. So in my world, you've made it you are like the Picasso. But I'm so glad you're here today. And just to have this super candid conversation about, we talked about what like, what could the vibe of this interview be about? Where do we feel like we're being drawn and called to talk about and you said it, you you said, I'm, I'm really going towards fear. So you use your own words to explain it to me. Like what? Tell me tell me how the word fear resonates for you like right now enlighten?
Unknown Speaker 6:05
Yeah, I mean, fear is in everything. I mean, it came to my mind when I sat down to review your questions, because I want to I want to do this. Well, I'm speaking with you, I have a chance to connect with, with some people, some other women and hopefully, you know, give them something worthwhile. Um, and so how do I do that? Well, I don't know why, you know, fear creeps up every day in different ways. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:34
Especially when we need to do something that one we've never done. So we're very uncomfortable with it, obviously. It's so important to us to get right. We're passionate we care, right? You care about the message that you're potentially sending to all of these women. I mean, it's new in and of itself, I feel like we're not, you know, anytime we have to do something we've never done before, in whatever capacity it is, there's a natural sense of fear that surrounds us and our mind and our thoughts. And we can either succumb to it and decide that yeah, you know, it's, it's too much. It's going to be really hard to figure this out. And I'm afraid of doing it wrong. Right. And, and so maybe I'd rather just not do it. Absolutely. Okay, let me ask us specifically, because to me, you, and this is a good representation of how social media and all of that is not a good representation, because I look at you. And I think, wow, she's totally fearless. She has done all the things, okay, you, you have started your own business, you have believed in your purpose, and your passion and your art, enough to do all the things that it takes to be out in the world, selling it, presenting it putting yourself on the line constantly for someone to essentially decide whether they like it, or it's good, or they'd spend money on it. So is there a way you could explain how you have overcome the many fears to do this? Or is this something that is so natural and innate to you to make art that you're like, No, it's the one thing that clicks for me, and there isn't a lot of fear, like, what does that look like? Because to me, I'm like, holy smokes, you are doing things that make me scared all the time. Right,
Unknown Speaker 9:00
right. Well, yeah, I would say I mean, just taking it back to the beginning, like, as a child, doing artwork, and having my mom see me, loving it, and having some kind of an interest in it, or a talent with it, picking up on those cues as we can do with our children as mothers noticing it and, you know, always encouraging that from the beginning. So it was like she she saw that in me and put me in our, you know, classes she, she and then it was time to go to high school and she continued the art classes for me outside of school, and then it was, you know, time to go to college and she was like, well, you're gonna go to college, right, you know, or you're gonna go to college for art, right? And I was like, wow, like, okay, yeah, I mean, I do love it, but I didn't know you'd be okay with that. You know, some, you know, the whole art thing what do you what are you going to do to make a living with that? You know, that kind of stuff, but she always was encouraging it? Did she
Unknown Speaker 10:06
ever say anything of the sort? Did your parents ever say, you can't make a living out, my
Unknown Speaker 10:12
dad was skeptical about it very much traditional businessman, you know, didn't quite understand it. My mom, her parents never let her be a gym teacher that she wanted to become. And she's always regretted that she's always she's always on that. Oh, and so she made it a point to encourage us and whatever passions we had, no matter what they were, that she would encourage that and thank God because I would have probably been at some bank or something doing some kind of, on fulfill. Yeah, um, so she, she pushed me that was from the very beginning. Um, and I went to college for art I went to design school for for design and graphic design. And I kind of, I did, I did feel it like in me all along like it. It was, but I didn't like I was always this artist in college, I was just like, painting these pretty flowers. And everybody else was painting these like really dark, you know, things and I never actually, I was fearful that I wasn't, you know, a good like, dark artists, even in that time in my life. And then I went to grad school and honestly, Love you. Love you.
Unknown Speaker 11:54
Okay, seriously? Wait for a second, we have to start over for a second. Literally, like, I have to. Okay. I don't know, Leslie, I cannot do this, like, I need to talk about myself.
Unknown Speaker 12:10
Yes, it is.
Unknown Speaker 12:13
It's uncomfortable. Sorry to like, but like, it's, this is a hard job that you have. This is weird. Like, I can see myself I can see I don't know, like, this is so different than I normally do. You know, like with me and my pen and my paper and my like, quite young by myself. And I kind of feel like I'm on stage trying to talk at some like TED Talk. And I'm like, I don't know how to do
Unknown Speaker 12:41
you kind of feel like you're blacked out. Like, you're just, you're there and you're talking but you're kind of blacked out.
Unknown Speaker 12:49
And it's like, like you said, it's like, there's so many details and there's so nice. But um, it's so hard
Unknown Speaker 12:57
to like, how do I put all these thoughts and feelings and experiences into a palatable package that someone can understand benefit from? And?
Unknown Speaker 13:08
Yeah, so it's like a lot. Yeah. A fear? I don't know. I mean, yeah, like, in my business. fear about the name cash color. I'm like, Is that the right name? Was this this? This is some kind of weird mistake. Is it dumb? Like, in my launch next week? Stay No, like, seriously? Like, if ever I mean, my Yeah, so I'm releasing, you know, 10 or so new paintings in in a week or so? And I'm like, what? What's, oh my gosh, like, how do I think I'm even going to do this? What if no one wants any? What if? Yes, any? Yes. Um,
Unknown Speaker 13:54
so you're telling me, this is so priceless, by the way. You are validating. You're literally validating me right now in 1000 ways and you don't even know it. And you're also going to validate so many women. Because you're telling me that every single step of the way you're working through fear, this is what I'm hearing? I mean, and I literally thinking I'm even thinking and I know. And I know that even like what I see on Instagram and whatnot isn't real, but even hearing you say that you're still fearful each time you're you're putting these new paintings out there, you're still fearful. The answer is not that you're ever going to get rid of the fear. The answer is that you do it anyway. Because it's worse to not do your creative art. Put your thing out there are risky at all, it's worse to not be yourself in the way you feel called to be yourself than it is to work through the fear and actually do it because you have to to be you
Unknown Speaker 15:13
exactly. Always, like, imagine myself like, on my, like final day here on this earth. And if I didn't do art, like, especially how I'm doing it right now today where I'm doing these large abstracts, and I am laying it all on there, just in any way that I feel like I have lit like, I like, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Anyway, it might change later. But like, I had to, I had to create these paintings that I'm painting right now. Hmm. Yeah, and it's, it's it took me years, it took me years to get to this point where I'm like, I'm gonna pour all of my insides onto this canvas. Not from a commission, not from somebody that tells me oh, I want a sailboat, this color latest room, and I want that drawn, and I want my, it's like, this is straight from my heart. And that took me a long time to get there. That's why I started with my print shop, my print business for the past five years, because I thought to myself, I could either go the direction of making like, kind of cute art prints that were more affordable, easy, you know, switch them out, keep them whatever. Or I could go kind of this like fine art route, this original art higher end, you know? And I was like, oh, no, like, I cannot go there.
Unknown Speaker 16:55
That's so much more vulnerable. Yeah. Like super duper vulnerable. Yeah, we're with you. It's easier, I can see what you're saying to take the route of your like, your like letters or initials line, or because it's like, this is very clear cut. This is what it is. Sure, there might be some people who like it or don't. And there's enough out there of people who will and see, like the goodness, and it's much more like defined and clear cut, it's safer. Whereas this jump to what you're doing these original pieces. Absolutely. It's very scary. I mean, because it's, it's so you it's so like, yeah, raw and real. And yeah, that's,
Unknown Speaker 17:49
I was I was scared about even you know, what my like, what my parents would say, Well, my dad would think my, you know, it's like, was yes, but enough like, there was like, there's now a part of me that more people can see. And like as a kind of almost feels like a secret part of me, that that I keep kind of in here. And now, you know, people can really like see that part. And it's so scary, but it's so like, just this fiery, wild thing that when somebody connects with a piece, and even more so like, wants to collect it in their home and like live with it and see it every day. It couldn't. It couldn't like blow my mind more. Hmm, it's so cool.
Unknown Speaker 18:51
I love that. I love that so much off and I just love that, you know, realness that you were just able to show because I just worry that women hold back on their entire being their entire life and never become the fullest version of what they're meant to be because of their fear. And yeah, I guess if I could change one thing, it would be that belief in your passion, what's inside of you, and that every step of the way to overcome that fear. And that's what I think I'm trying to do in so many words, because I am trying to show that I have no idea what I'm doing every day and I'm scared of everything I'm doing and I'm uncomfortable and I don't even I don't have the end picture painted out yet, like you don't either anytime you're in, you're just being real and authentic and just saying, I feel so drawn and called to present this to you, in hopes that it will land in the way that it does for me, and I need to do this, like, I need my next breath of air. That's like that's just good stuff. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:34
And that's why I've been loving, following and watching you to Leslie because I just love seeing this. This side of you this fear, fearless in a way side of you saying it's not too late. And like, I've got things to say. And I've got something for, for the world to hear. And I'm going to start, I'm just going to start small, and step by step. And like, see where this goes. And it's all about the small steps. It's all about making that first step. As fearful as you may be. Yeah, but just doing it.
Unknown Speaker 21:23
Yeah. And then practicing. Doing that after day, after day after day, and just, I mean, you've heard that, I mean, we've all kind of heard that phrase before. Like, I think, like, getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. And, you know, to, I've often asked myself, Why is this uncomfortable, like we're wired to keep ourselves from getting hurt, right? Like, back in caveman days. Like, if you did something, if you took a path, you've never been down before, like, there could be a will the beast on the other side of it, and it could kill you. Right? So it was like, stay where it's comfortable, stay on the path that you know. And that's an human instinct that was made to protect us. And a lot of times people who love us more than anything in the world will also guide us in that manner. Because they don't want us to be disappointed or sad or hurt. And so they're well meaning, of course, but I think too, a lot of times, like my conditioning came in in that way, which was like, you know, Oh, honey, hi, I don't know, you know, better not say that or do that because you you could fail or it could hurt you or someone could disagree with it. So, you know, don't do it. So I guess my point in this is that we're not wrong for feeling. The way that we feel. It's, it comes from well intended conditioning, I think sometimes and it comes from the nature of our bodies and, you know, things that were put within us to protect us so it's okay to feel this way. It's natural to feel this way. And we can we can still do the things Okay, mamas. I feel like whenever I need a birthday gift, I'm hustling last minute to figure something out. And I'm particular I want it to be special and stylish. I have your solution. Ella jewel designs. Years ago, I met these two mamas at a luncheon shop event. I bought a necklace. And I literally wore it for a year straight. No kidding. I don't even think I took it off to shower or go swimming and they don't tell you to do that. But what I found was that these necklaces last I came back the following year and I did the same thing again. bought another necklace, did it again for another year. So now the third time around, I approached these lovely women they are sisters. They are mothers. It's a locally owned and run company. And I told them I absolutely love this stuff. They so generously gave me a code for you to get 15% off. This is what I want to tell you. It checks the boxes. These necklaces are stylish. They are going to hold up trust me two years in a row they did for me and they're wonderful personal beautiful gifts. They're a great everyday necklace. I don't know about you, but I always get worried if I have something on every day, it's got to hold up to the wear and tear of the mother lode. Right. And if I've spent a bunch of money on it, I'm like nervous about it. So the right price, the right durability, the right look, check it out. I think it can save you time and money, eligible designs.com. I feel like we should go back with you. I feel like I just totally dove headfirst into the deep end, I sent you a list of questions. And then I was like, scratch that I'm gonna just kick this off with one that I didn't even send you and you're like, what? It's good. It's good. But I wanted to I mean, you talked about, I think it's really important where the art and the creativity came from. And you're saying, it was always there, you nurtured it, I love that your mother nurtured it, we should tell people to that the way that I know you is through your beautiful, loving, supportive mother, who is a dear friend of mine has been for many years. And she did the same thing in my life for me at a time that I needed it that she did for you. And that's how I know Caitlin is her mom, Karen worked with my husband. years ago, she was a manager at the same company that my husband sold pharmaceuticals for or not pharmaceuticals, what medical device. Um, and I he introduced me to her and we hit it off. And she has been the best friend and mentor I could have ever asked for. But I think it's important for us as moms to to really know that, that has such a long lasting effect that as a mom, our most important job might just be that love and encouragement. Now, not the lessons. Not the discipline, but that love and that encouragement that like full on belief, when you see in your child that something makes them tick. That's pretty powerful.
Unknown Speaker 27:39
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 27:41
Yeah. And then I would like to know, how then, do you take this? And do you start a business out of it? I mean, that's like a huge question, I guess. But like, for people who are listening that are like, God, I'd love to start a small business on the side, because I actually think that's a lovely option for a mother to have, that she can fill all of her needs by being able to be a mom, when she wants and needs to be a mom and also having the potential of a small business where you can lean in when the season allows and lean out when it doesn't. So can you put into words like little steps or things along your path that you know, kind of got this going?
Unknown Speaker 28:37
Yeah, I mean, when I was working corporate for Abercrombie and Fitch doing apparel graphics, I would I learned so much from that, from that time in my life a few years working there. And it's ultimately what kind of made me feel ready to start my own thing, but I will say when I was working there I started my print shop on the side so it's almost like your parenting and you can start you can start something on the side right it's kind of the same um, in a way and so so I just started opening an Etsy shop which is a great outlet for anyone you know, that wants to start something you can start something there and I just started selling prints there and I would sort of just fulfill them on sly you know, at work and package them and ship them like during my lunch break at work and and then yeah, between kind of those two things I found I found that you know, I had a couple of products that really took off. And I think keeping in mind like everything is just a test. You're not putting anything out there that you're too attached to because Has it might totally flop like keeping that huge. Let's just test this, see if people gravitate towards it, if they don't, let's change and like try something else and try try a different style or try a different or, you know, paint something in a different color, see what colors do best, you know, that kind of thing. So like I said, Yeah, a few different products that kind of, were good for me. And then eventually, I, I moved down to Nashville to start my own business. And I took what I learned from Abercrombie and working there. And then what I learned, opening my own Etsy shop. And I just said, I'm just going to move down to Nashville. I had, you know, Scott in Nashville, my now husband who I was dating, so it was really important for me to leave Ohio and go to the south and live there and start a life was Scott. And so that's what I did. And I was just like, I couldn't get anything online. I looked for jobs online, I couldn't find anything. And I just was a little bit of savings. I had moved down to Nashville, rented a little spot with a friend that he set me up with. And I started a I started a business, I would take anything from wedding invitations, logos. I would do my Etsy shop, you know, anything that came my way? I said yes to. And then I kind of just figured from there, it was a little scrambled, right? Like I do believe in the Master of None, like Master of one kind of thing. Like if you get too many things going on, you can't do anything like super well. So I found this online course shortly after I fumbled my way through a couple years of taking on anything and everything. Online Course was super helpful. I may have told you about it at the time, it was called Hey, sweet pea
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